moondottir (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} moondottir) wrote,@ 2009-10-15 16:42:00 |
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| Current location: | Office |
| Current mood: |  meh |
| Entry tags: | life, work |
back for the meantime
One of my crazy acquaintances asked me if I have a blog. I said, I used to. It's inactive now.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"Nothing specific. Mostly nonsense," I replied.
I was about to send him the URL but I figured, maybe I should go check it out myself and make sure it's "safe". I mean, this guy barely knows me. Might as well not have him know bullshit and emo stuff about my life. I CAN get a little emo. Okay, fine. I can get a LOT emo. :| But then, since I'm already here... might as well write something... I haven't written a decent entry in... well, months.
Haven't really gotten around to write here anymore because... as said in my previous entry dated December 31, 2008:
"I wasn't able to write as much this year because, well, there are a million better things to do than blog, say, Playstation, Facebook, sleeping, and the occasional getting drunk and/or hooring around. So there."
Well, I didn't do much Playstation and hooring around. PSP, yes. And then there's work. And work. And work. Then I quit. I quit Unilever last June. The pay was okay... but the workload is just... yeah. Well to be honest, I can handle the workload. I'm actually good at what I do. It's just me. I get bored too often, too soon. And I know that if I transfer to another company, even as a graphic designer, I will most probably get bored after a year.
So I tried doing freelance. It's fun... if you don't have to worry about money. I do have clients... but money was coming in slow. And then there's the Australia trip... which totally made a huge dent on my savings. But I figured, it's just money. I can always earn it back. Going to Australia, seeing one of my oldest friends get married, meeting really wonderful people, hopping on to a train to God-knows-where... priceless. I absolutely have no regrets.
After the gossamer dream that is my Sydney trip, I came back to Manila, worrying where on earth will I get money to pay my bills. Sure, I get a little something from the family business every month... but I don't want to be dependent on that. I want to make my own money, prove that I can make it on my own. I chose to quit my job. I chose to do freelance. I HAVE TO MAKE IT WORK. But projects were scarce or maybe I'm just not selling myself enough (don't get any ideas). To make matters worse, the inspiration wasn't there. My output was crap.
I tried busying myself with other things. Maybe if I do something different, say, clean my room rather than sit in the study or look at other people's designs for inspiration, maybe, just maybe, I'll have that creative spark again. So I did clean my room... And then typhoon Ondoy came. Suddenly I have stuff to donate. Suddenly, I am out there collecting donations, sorting and packing clothes, loading repacked goods onto crates. It was great. It was very rewarding. It made me feel like I'm actually doing something. It didn't give me that creative spark but at least I was able to help people. :|
Okay, I'm not really making sense now. Coherence Fail. I'm not a writer so sue me. *rolls eyes* I'm basically just summarizing what the hell I've been doing. So anyway, this is a totally different story but I'm back in the family business. Yeah, that one where I used to work four years ago but quit because I got bored and felt like I wasn't really doing anything. I figured it's about time to learn the ropes. I should stop kidding myself and just face the fact that I am going to end up here anyway. It's not a bad thing or anything... I mean, I'll never earn as much money if I stay as an employee. The odds of being a successful and famous graphic designer isn't really in my favor. Besides, I can still do freelance on the side. Double income, always a good thing. I also thought that I wouldn't want to waste my mom's efforts. It took a lot to put up this company and it took much, much more for it to sustain itself for six years. It would be a shame not to continue it. We are living comfortably because of it. I'm not saying we're rolling dough, because we're not. We are just luckier than most and we are grateful. This is like a free pass to a comfortable future. Who wouldn't want that? Some people can only dream to have their own businesses. Others are struggling starting up theirs. THIS business is waiting for ME. Who am I to refuse? I think it's the most practical and logical thing to do -- learn the ropes then manage it someday. I just really hope I can do this. I don't think anybody can ever be ready for this. I sorta just jumped in and hopefully learn to swim. There's a huge room for improvement but I'm taking it slow. Baby steps and I'll get there. I'll probably go emo over this in another post (and explain how the hell I got here. Heh). Not today though. Meh.
Oh and ironically, just when I was getting used to the corporate world again, freelance graphic design projects started pouring in. What. The. Hell. :|
